The Printed Word

The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
...from a hospital medical chart

Excerpts from Movie Reviews

The regretful verdict here is, "Dead in the Water."
...Time magazine review of Titanic
If sharks can yawn, that's presumably what this one is doing. It's certainly what I was doing all through this picture.
...New Republic review of Jaws
Displays no trace of imagination, good taste or ingenuity... It's a stinkeroo.
...New Yorker review of The Wizard of Oz

The Anglican Church Welcomes You
The Premises Are Protected by Guard Dogs
...sign outside a church

Judge Loses Firmness When He Doffs His Robe
...headline in the Buffalo (New York) Courier-Express

At last...a book for young people about sex and reproduction in language they can understand, plus pictures they will enjoy.
...from the cover of the sex education book It's perfectly Normal

Here -- Good Friday -- 7 P.M. -- Live Crucifixion
...sign outside a church in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Three Freight Trains Crash; Two Missing
...headline in the Marietta (Georgia) Daily Journal

Please Use Thongs While Buying Bread.
...sign near a bakery display

Please Use Tongues To Pick Up Cookies, Not Your Hands.
...sign in the cafeteria at a high school