Door Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck :: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels."
At a Proctologist's door:: "To expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck:: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..."
On a Church's Billboard:: "7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:: "Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company:: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck:: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Non-smoking Area:: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office:: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:: "We really know our stuff."
On a Fence:: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership:: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company:: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window:: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home :: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station:: "Thank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:: "Best place in town to take a leak."