Having a Bad Day
In one hospital's Intensive Care Ward, patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred at about 11:00 a.m. on Sundays. So a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 a.m., Pookie Johnson, part time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid wild cheers and applause from the onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in 2 places. Up until then, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all 2,000 pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
Now, aren't you feeling better?